So, hum bhi blogger ho gaye!!! But why did I want to be a blogger in the first place? Aisa kya hai jise mein duniya se share karna chahata hoon? What pearls of wisdom will I drop that will make people stop by and read what I ‘publish’? I guess none…Waise bhi, Wikipedia says that there are seventy one million blogs already in existence, so what new can this one additional blog to this humungous world of this seventy million add? I guess nothing.So why on earth did I take the trouble to start a blog? Well the answer lies in a party I attended couple of days ago. It was the usual party attended by the types one calls the ‘stiff upper-lips’ variety. I must confess though that these stiff upper-lips tend to become slightly less stiff as more and more ‘stiff’ drinks make their way inside those lips of theirs.
I stood mostly in a corner, for I knew, as soon as those not so stiff lips of mine parted and my Bihari accented English interposed with ‘bhere’ ‘bhat’ reverberated in the drawing room, all eyes would turn to me, a khatra I did not wish to take. For when eyes turn, it is not just to hear what you speak, but also to examine what you wear (I was wearing no Armani but cloth stitched by Tip Top Tailors of Patna), how you smell (no cologne, but Old Spice), how your hair looks (don’t have much left anyway)..etc etc..pura x-ray analysis..
If you think I suffer from this feeling of Ehsas-e-kamtari… bhai mere.. zindagi ke haadson ne hamen aisa bana diya…hum hamesha se toh aise na the......Ab yeh kissa suno, jo mere saath Bharatiya rail ke ek AC compartment mein guzri...Bhai mere, meine snazzy leather jacket pehna rakha tha..chal bhi raha tha AC II tier compartment mein.. ‘Sauchalaya’ ke paas khada dhumrapan raha tha jab, suddenly this beautiful young girl walked out of the compartment and she gave me a long lookk (double k because the look was that long). Jab tak mien sambhal pata, aur usse kutch poochta, she asked me, “Bed roll kab tak dijiyega”…Mein behosh hote hote bacha..
Waise, must say am improving, I remember those good old days when I used to wear sneakers with my double breasted suits, for wearing sneakers was ‘hep’ thing to do those days (North Star had just opened an exclusive showroom in Patna), and wearing double breasted suit was toh always the ‘hep’ thing to do. Baad mein pata chala, yeh maths nahin hai, where two plus two will always equal four no matter what, but in the fine art of sartorial splendor guess two ‘heps’ don’t make you ‘mahahep’ but a ‘budwaak’ as they say in Bihar, the land of the free, where everyone is free to do as he pleases, chahao toh pyajama ke upar shirt pehan kar east-west ka milap karwa dalo..
My Angrezi too has improved, both spoken and written, my vocabulary has come a long way, now when I tell my wife, I need a ‘hug’, it does not mean I need to go and do the unspeakable thing that a Bihari associates it with, but with the romantic intension it is supposed to connote. I am getting there, but I do confess, I still have a long way to go.
Taking turns in sitting/standing in the corner next to the loo, hearing people having their conversations on issues ranging from the stupidity of the US foreign policy to Indian cultural heritage, I felt I too wanted to talk... Arre bhai, ‘Hum bhi moonh mein zaban rakte hein…Koi Poocho ke Muddaa kya hai?’ But except a few polite hello’s on their way to pee, not a single soul asked me anything...showed any interest in taking any 'gyan' from me.
Usi samay biji kadki, aur akashwani hui..(which of course only I could hear)..Vats, Gugal account khol aur blogspot par ja..phir keh jo kehna hai..Gugal par ja kar 'gal' kar..Bus phir kya tha..Aa gaye paas hum..
And as they say, the rest is history..
So, bhaiyon aur unki bahnon..is liye mein yahan pe hoon..umeed hai, aage bhi aap meri bakwas sunenge..i mean padhenge..aur agar nahin bhi padhenge, toh mein toh bhai besharam hoon..post karta hi rahoonga, jab jab dimag mein 'kemikal locha' hoga..naye khayalat janam lenge aur andar se yeh antarnad uthegi..mujhe bahar nikalo..bahar nikalo aur post karo apne blog par..
